New Beginnings

I went on a date today with my husband...a much needed date. It seems that life can keep us from the things we need the most. With four children we can so easily be distracted from focusing on our marriage just by being parents. For years Charlie and I made it a point to have weekly date nights, weekend getaways and time alone to focus on our marriage and each other. It was always so powerful in keeping us close, giving us strength and keeping us connected. The last couple years our date nights have dwindled and have been pretty scarce.

We went to PF Changs for some lunch and it was really good! We both talked about how we have missed time like this, no kids, no interruptions, just him and I having a great time. Funny thing was that we spent all our money at the restaurant and then didn't know what else to do that wouldn't cost anything. Then I remembered I had a giftcard to Starbucks...mmmm sounded perfect. So, off we went!

We arrived at Starbucks and ordered our hot cocoa and vanilla steamer. Did I mention all the gluten free snacks they now carry? So I had to get some gluten free sugar cookies to go with my steamer. It was delicious. We began talking and sharing with each other as if no one was in the room.

I have been struggling a lot lately. I have not been feeling very well. Fatigue and the lack of desire to do things have been my best friends. I have had no patience, and have been very short with my family. Charlie kept thinking I was unhappy, or something wrong, but I didn't know how to describe it.

I shared with him that I haven't been taking care of myself lately and the effect it has had on me. I am not eating well (meal missing), I am not exercising, I am not taking my vitamins (which are a lot for me) and I know this pattern doesn't serve me well, at all! So why do I spiral down like this? Why do I neglect what is good for me? Why do I ignore myself?

So tomorrow I am going to invest a little bit more on me. Sounds selfish but I think is necessary that my spiritual, mental and physical health is in check and then I can be of value to others. Here is what I would love from my friends...ENCOURAGEMENT! Please send me your thoughts, wisdom, and love during the next 30 days as I begin to change me from the inside out.

Emotional Roller Coaster

The last few weeks I have been on somewhat of a roller coaster with my emotions. I have had very little patience and have been extremely sensitive to life around me. Not so easy for my sweet husband to endure. I feel as though he walks on eggshells so I don't explode...tick tick tick!

I sit here this morning thinking is it hormones, am I starting menopause, am I worried about the people I love who are enduring difficult times...I was trying to figure out some reason that I am feeling so out of control. Right? Shouldn't something be wrong with me, shouldn't there be some logical answer for the way I am feeling.

Then I read this devotion this morning. I love how God doesn't let me stew for too long creating my own stories, figuring out the answers that fit my life and personality. He nips it right in the butt...take a read...

The Colors of Emotion
Susanne Scheppmann

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:19-20 (NIV)

Devotion:
My feelings scoot across the emotion spectrum. Some days are happy days. Other mornings I don't want to crawl out of bed—I just want to wallow in misery and depression. I sigh and say to my husband, "I have the blues today."

I guess you could say I am a "colorful" person. Maybe you are too. Have you ever found yourself saying something like ...

• I am feeling blue today.
• I am so angry; I'm seeing red.
• I am green with envy.
• I am in black despair.

Often our emotions are not based on reality, but on a temporary perception of reality. The prophet Jeremiah wrote, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9, NIV). I don't always understand why I feel the way I do. My moods could result from weariness, hormones, or an unexpected surprise.

Fortunately, although our hearts are deceitful and trick us into colorful emotions, God is bigger and stronger than our weak hearts. Our key verse states, "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything (1 John 3:19-20, NIV; emphasis added). This makes me shout aloud, "Hallelujah!"

We still hold some responsibility, however, for our thoughts and emotions. Proverbs 4:23 instructs, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (NIV)." How do we do this? We should take care about the books, movies and television that we allow to influence our thoughts. Listening to gossip, rumors and discontent from friends can certainly stir up negative feelings as well.

Instead of infusing ourselves with emotional junk food, we need to nourish our minds with godly influences. For example, read the Bible, chat with godly friends, or listen to praise music. The more joyful and contentment-filled influences we filter our thoughts through each day, the more we'll experience a positive emotional state—in fact, we'll be tickled pink!

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That said it all for me. Although I know that other factors do take place and there are things I might need to look into as it relates to my hormones, I want to take a step in faith along the way in our God and know that He is STRONGER than my heart.

Alright, so don't be afraid to be by me...deep breath...giggle, giggle<3