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Stepping towards Jesus

Psalm 63:2-4 The Message
So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

Sometimes as we live our every day life we drift towards to do lists, school activites, soccer games, baseball playoffs, school plays, dinner, cleaning, and all the other things in our lives. All of these activities make up our lives and that is what we live everyday. Something happens though if we don't stay connected to our King~ those activities become dry and meaningless. They become just another thing we are to accomplish that day. We lose ourselves in the now mundane things we must do.

Those are my circumstances every day of my life...those are not going to change. What changes for me is my heart, my perspective on them. When I find myself in that place that I drifted off into I begin to feel sad, disconnected and wonder is this what my life is all about. My life becomes dull and without color and becomes just another day I play a part in. It is a drabby place to be and we can all become lost in that black and white world.

When I read Psalm 63 God reminded me once again of His faithfulness to my heart. He reminded me of His BEAUTIFUL love for me. He reminded me of ALL that I have and ALL that I am and it makes me want to PRAISE Him. As I sat in His presence He brought color to my life. Look at verse 2 where it says "So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory...notice it says, "So here I am in the place of worship..." David had to position himself before the Lord and not only position himself, he opened his eyes, he was ready and expected to hear from God. Then you see David follow with "drinking in your strength and glory" We never leave God's presence empty handed, NEVER!

When we sit in God's presence each day His truth changes our perspective from a drab, black and white script to the most beautiful and colorful story you have ever been a part of. We must though take that step every day, seeking God and His Truth, seeking the color for our everyday lives. He is so beautiful, can't you begin to see the color radiate in your life...

Changes

It's been about two years since I began healing from Celiac's Disease. For years my body wasn't absorbing nutrients and fat and I weighed no more than 126 pounds on any given day. I ate just about anything I wanted, how much I wanted and never had to exercise a day in my life. I was thin, but very unhealthy and became more thin than I had ever been. I looked so ill and felt even worse.

As my body began to heal from the disease, my body began absorbing just about everything I touched. In just about 6 months I gained about 40 pounds like that and I could hardly recognize my body. The good news though was that I felt like a new women, I had energy and I wasn't feeling so sick anymore. Problem was though that I had gained 40 pounds which turned into 50 pounds within a few more months.

So girls, that is where I have stayed...176 pounds and holding! I have been trying so hard to get used to this new body of mine for some two years now. I never had my thighs rub together, never floated in the bath, never had my daughter rub my belly and say that there is a baby in there...so much around this new body.

I went to try on some clothes at Old Navy the other day and of course there are fabulous mirrors in there that make you look so hot...NOT! I was so puffy and squishy and thought to myself, what has happened to me. I left there with two skirts size 12...BTW When I hold them up they look like there is no way they would fit me...except they do!

I came home after that shopping spree feeling even more down about this unrecognizable body. When I went to bed I shared with Charlie my feelings. He encouraged me to not let my new and beautiful body consume me. Although I felt it wasn't I think he was right and it was consuming me. He said that I can choose to change that or continue to try and fight this new body.

So here I am today...changes are taking place. I woke up today and made the decision to make some changes. Not drastic changes, but changes. The last thing I want to do is to be consumed with changing my body and having it become an idol. I see way too many women who become consumed with the way they look and it become an idol...I don't want that. What I want is balance, health, and to treat my body with love.

I came into my bedroom tonight and turned on my video. It is five 10 minute workouts. I thought okay I can do a few and be done. Started with the cardio warm up and 5 minutes in was breathing like I had only 1 lung. It was kickin my butt. Samantha was watching me and encouraging me to keep going. I must have looked like a total goof ball. I could hardly kick my legs like the instructor or keep the bounce in the routine. Samantha kept asking why I wasn't bouncing...if she only knew.

Needless to say, I finished it...all 10 minutes! I was sweating, breathing heavy and my legs were so wobbly! Whew that will make you feel like a woman! Okay so I won't be so hard on myself. I accomplished something today. I made a change, a 10 minute change, but still a change.

Tomorrow is a new day and my goal is another 10 minute workout.

New Beginnings

I went on a date today with my husband...a much needed date. It seems that life can keep us from the things we need the most. With four children we can so easily be distracted from focusing on our marriage just by being parents. For years Charlie and I made it a point to have weekly date nights, weekend getaways and time alone to focus on our marriage and each other. It was always so powerful in keeping us close, giving us strength and keeping us connected. The last couple years our date nights have dwindled and have been pretty scarce.

We went to PF Changs for some lunch and it was really good! We both talked about how we have missed time like this, no kids, no interruptions, just him and I having a great time. Funny thing was that we spent all our money at the restaurant and then didn't know what else to do that wouldn't cost anything. Then I remembered I had a giftcard to Starbucks...mmmm sounded perfect. So, off we went!

We arrived at Starbucks and ordered our hot cocoa and vanilla steamer. Did I mention all the gluten free snacks they now carry? So I had to get some gluten free sugar cookies to go with my steamer. It was delicious. We began talking and sharing with each other as if no one was in the room.

I have been struggling a lot lately. I have not been feeling very well. Fatigue and the lack of desire to do things have been my best friends. I have had no patience, and have been very short with my family. Charlie kept thinking I was unhappy, or something wrong, but I didn't know how to describe it.

I shared with him that I haven't been taking care of myself lately and the effect it has had on me. I am not eating well (meal missing), I am not exercising, I am not taking my vitamins (which are a lot for me) and I know this pattern doesn't serve me well, at all! So why do I spiral down like this? Why do I neglect what is good for me? Why do I ignore myself?

So tomorrow I am going to invest a little bit more on me. Sounds selfish but I think is necessary that my spiritual, mental and physical health is in check and then I can be of value to others. Here is what I would love from my friends...ENCOURAGEMENT! Please send me your thoughts, wisdom, and love during the next 30 days as I begin to change me from the inside out.

Emotional Roller Coaster

The last few weeks I have been on somewhat of a roller coaster with my emotions. I have had very little patience and have been extremely sensitive to life around me. Not so easy for my sweet husband to endure. I feel as though he walks on eggshells so I don't explode...tick tick tick!

I sit here this morning thinking is it hormones, am I starting menopause, am I worried about the people I love who are enduring difficult times...I was trying to figure out some reason that I am feeling so out of control. Right? Shouldn't something be wrong with me, shouldn't there be some logical answer for the way I am feeling.

Then I read this devotion this morning. I love how God doesn't let me stew for too long creating my own stories, figuring out the answers that fit my life and personality. He nips it right in the butt...take a read...

The Colors of Emotion
Susanne Scheppmann

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:19-20 (NIV)

Devotion:
My feelings scoot across the emotion spectrum. Some days are happy days. Other mornings I don't want to crawl out of bed—I just want to wallow in misery and depression. I sigh and say to my husband, "I have the blues today."

I guess you could say I am a "colorful" person. Maybe you are too. Have you ever found yourself saying something like ...

• I am feeling blue today.
• I am so angry; I'm seeing red.
• I am green with envy.
• I am in black despair.

Often our emotions are not based on reality, but on a temporary perception of reality. The prophet Jeremiah wrote, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" (Jeremiah 17:9, NIV). I don't always understand why I feel the way I do. My moods could result from weariness, hormones, or an unexpected surprise.

Fortunately, although our hearts are deceitful and trick us into colorful emotions, God is bigger and stronger than our weak hearts. Our key verse states, "This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything (1 John 3:19-20, NIV; emphasis added). This makes me shout aloud, "Hallelujah!"

We still hold some responsibility, however, for our thoughts and emotions. Proverbs 4:23 instructs, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (NIV)." How do we do this? We should take care about the books, movies and television that we allow to influence our thoughts. Listening to gossip, rumors and discontent from friends can certainly stir up negative feelings as well.

Instead of infusing ourselves with emotional junk food, we need to nourish our minds with godly influences. For example, read the Bible, chat with godly friends, or listen to praise music. The more joyful and contentment-filled influences we filter our thoughts through each day, the more we'll experience a positive emotional state—in fact, we'll be tickled pink!

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That said it all for me. Although I know that other factors do take place and there are things I might need to look into as it relates to my hormones, I want to take a step in faith along the way in our God and know that He is STRONGER than my heart.

Alright, so don't be afraid to be by me...deep breath...giggle, giggle<3

New Year, New Perspective

Our last day to live in the year 2009...what will we do today? This last year has been a year full of pleasures, joys, sadness and troubles, yet it is probably like most of my prior years. Lots of changes in my family this year, kids changed schools, started working, stopped working, healthy, ate gluten TWICE and got sick again, friends move...lots of changes. With all the changes it makes me feel unsettled, in a fluid motion I would say. I don't do well with changes. I like things more constant, firm and grounded. It makes me feel secure that way...when I can "predict" and "control" my life. As the year went on and the changes came my way, I would try and figure a way to bring everything back to normal and stable again. VERDICT: I created a lot of inner turmoil for myself and for my sweet family around me.

My sweet husband shared something with me during one of my battles of normalcy and told me in a nutshell that I just need to "Embrace the Change". I had no earthly idea what he was talking about. He shared more with me that I needed to trust in the plans the Lord has given me, trust that He wants the best for me and trust that with God we will all be okay. He was so right. I started falling in love with the word "EMBRACE". Here is what the dictionary says about the word embrace;

1. to take or clasp in the arms; press to the bosom; hug.
2. to take or receive gladly or eagerly; accept willingly: to embrace an idea.
3. to avail oneself of: to embrace an opportunity.
4. to take in with the eye or the mind.
5. to encircle; surround; enclose.

I like the second definition, to take or receive gladly or eagerly, accept willingly. That was my answer. I need to trust God. I need to trust in the plans He has for me. I need to embrace the life and circumstances He has for my life and for those whom I love. I need to know that regardless of the current unknowns, that whatever He makes known, I can trust in Him and that He loves me and those I care about...so what can change that...NOTHING! So, for the New Year I am going to work on embracing, not controlling my life.

A thought came to mind when I wrote that. When I embrace, it doesn't mean I sit back and do nothing in my life. It means that I still seek God for the direction of my life, I seek God for wisdom in the decisions that I make, I seek God for His will in my life and then I LIVE, I MAKE DECISIONS, AND I FOLLOW HIS WILL...all the while I embrace the life that unfolds in the process...

Yesterday I had much needed quiet time with the Lord and asked Him to help give me a new perspective on the upcoming year. I didn't want to go about my life doing the same things and expecting different results. I knew that my perspective needed pruned, watered and fed by our Lord Jesus in order for it to change.

So that is my prayer, a new perspective, a God given perspective to live each day according to His will and to live each day with a thankful, and joyful heart. My prayer is to embrace each day and the circumstances that surround me with the strength of the Lord.

Happy New Year!

Beth Moore Simulcast